is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
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I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
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But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize