Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
