You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
