I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
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