Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
pop tarts are not kleenex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
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