Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
