I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
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