I think im going to throw up on grandma
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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