My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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