so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
The feeling are messing with the penis
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
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