That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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