just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Can you bring me the toilet please
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Randomize
