New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
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