we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
