I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
i think i just lost a toe
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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