so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
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