Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
