she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Randomize
