GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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