why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Randomize
