i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
