Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize