And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
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