the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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