She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Just invented taco cereal.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Randomize
