she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize