Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
