It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize