it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
