I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I had to cum in my sink.
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