if you like me you must not know who I am
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
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