I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
