Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
