A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize