Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Are we in a gay sports bar?
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
