so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
