it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
