the new term for farting is butt boxing.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
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