xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize