Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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