So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
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Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
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I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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