she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
