she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
