no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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