I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
