had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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