i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
