Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
