So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
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she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize