I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Four minutes until I can fart!
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
