Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Randomize
