the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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