Someone shit on the floor
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I think I sprained my soul last night
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
