so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
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The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
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This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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