Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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