You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
