i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
